Blade runners

The Dr reports on a strange phenomena: our local supermarket no longer stocks razor blades in the aisle with the other Man Toiletries. Henceforth, blades shall be dispensed from behind the counter with the fags and scratch-away dreams.

The reason, as spelled out on a firm-but-fair notice, is that blades are too commonly pinched.

So is there a black market in razor blades, with people hawking them pub-to-pub in the same tatty carrier as their knocked-off DVDs?

Or do shoppers pocket the shiny, slim packs as they otherwise pay for their groceries?

Also, what is the difference between “gel” and “hydra gel”, as offered in soap from Gillette? I assume it's something to do with water, and not that if you cut yourself shaving you grow another head. But isn't a gel wet and hydrating anyway?

And, since I’m on to the prostitution of meaning in adverts, does anyone else squawk with rage at the Credit Suisse promise of “wealth protection”? I think of the synonyms "hoard" and "stash", and of a dragon asleep on dwarf-treasure.